Let me tell you of a true story of abuse
Many years ago I meet this wonderful lady whom had been raped (not by me). She was fearful and needed to get some sort of closure and was not able to understand why a man would do such a thing. I explained to her it was a power thing and it didn't matter how I explained it I could not get threw to her. I needed some sort of tactics that would make her understand and I hatched a plan.
Role reversal and acting .it out with her as the aggressor, I set up one word that if said the exercise would end immediately. I set the scene in a remote location miles from anywhere where there was vulnerability on the .pretend victim (me).
It all started with laughter and fun with a bit of coaching from me then something happened she got serious it was on inappropriate touching it then escalated into hits and punches ( I physically got a kicking). It lasted for several hours and I put a stop to it. We calmed down but something had changed I felt violated and I with drew.
You must know I really loved this lady and I did marry her and had twelve years of happiness and bliss with her, come to think of it I am still married to her. I was devastated six years ago when she was taken from me by mental health and I have never seen her since. She was reported as a missing person you see I was only the husband and I was never told when they took her.
Sorry for the diversion.
Being in a isolated location in a motor home I was forced to deal with the emotions. She to had changed and found that it was a power thing and she relished the power she had over me..We had resolved that before we left the location all would be made right.
It took four days before I could even look at her and I must admit that I gained and immense insight into being a real man one with compassion and empathy and a gentle touch.
I refer to women now as lovely ladies and get a ribbing from my mates. Lovely Ladies they say followed by other words of ridicule.
The thing is role reversal is happening and men are now getting a kicking from women for real. either way it is wrong to demand from another something that has not been earnt and that includes trust.