Thought of loosing a child is the dread of the worst calibur. It has happened to me and it has never left me, having some sort of faith is what brings relief to some degree. This is my story of how I deal with it.
Timothy is my sons name lost to medical drugs prescribed to him by a doctor. Fentynol is the drug that caused the problem and which lead to his death. Now that he is no longer with me in this life that I am now living he is still here. Take the Australian cicada that lives below the ground for most of its life digging in the dirt with the worms and such. Then one day it decides to leave the safe environment that it as known all its life and crawles up a tree and splits its body in two from one end to the other. How painful would that be venturing into the unknown with no return. It discards its body shell and crawles out its wings unfold and it sits there waiting for them to dry out. Then its off into the wild blue yonder to either mate or die.
I was involved in rescuing people from a car crash and was holding a ladies hand when she died and spirit left her body and I got in the way. It was like being hit with a lightening bolt and I know how that feels when I challenged God in the middle of a lightening storm and he struck me with a bolt of lightening and fixed my sore knee at the same time true. Never again will I challenge him upstairs like that again when he is moving the furniture around making lots of noise up there.
Where was I? That's right Timothy checked out and went off like the cicada on a one way journey into the unknown with no way of returning. Yes he is on another page of life's journey threw the cosmos and he has left and I have given him permission to move on in his journey. It does not say that I don't miss him I do with the feeling that I died at the same time he left.
Why do I tell this story is that someone might get a easier ride than I.
Sitting here with tears streaming down my face washing my soul and mind clean with every drop.