the light

Brightly coloured lights of seduction
 drawing the mind away from seclusion
 entering the time of the never never
smiling with the deceit of clever
 aligned and maligned with sounds
 never heard from the fronds
The faces of disparate joined by drugs
 I sit here sipping from my mugs
 To my mug pouring out loneliness
With the condemnation of the soul
 taken aback into the darkness of toil.

Standards and denying insurance.

I have a engineers report for damage from the floods. One of the points made is that the house does not come up to Australian standards so the insurance is void in these areas. What is a standard? Back in the 1890s the current practice was to burn a post and char the surface and put it in the ground the other way was to soak it in creosote and then place it in the ground. These were accepted practices of the day and these houses have stood the test of time. Even to this day the practice of putting posts directly into the ground and building onto these posts is done. In the suburb of Dapto in NSW there is a building built in this way and it is a two story affair and is called the Ribbon wood centre and was built for the local council for a library and community centre. I will report on these matters again if the problem is not resolved naming the insurance company and the engineer involved.

Union exectutive pay

Health union pay for the top job.Amazing!
5192.30 / Week
741.75/ day
Why is health so expensive?
 Why is everything so expensive?

I feel so honoured

The people of Queensland got 11 million dollars for the floods combined . I got flooded out in Gundagai and to date I got nothing not even from insurance. Now I am Honoured to now know 300 million dollars will go to Afghanistan. What for killing Australian soldiers! or is it to appease the consciences of the Prime minister. The thing is it wont work,she has to live with the deaths of our soldiers. Assination may also be on the rise in Australia as I now have rats in the house. The funny thing is the damage to the house is from (Humidity)not flood in one hot dry area that has just come out of drought because of the flood. It wasn't fixed and the house stood from about 5th March to now 21 May I wonder where all the water went in a closed house?

Empty thoughts

Small thought of love pass threw my veins
Twists and turns as the little light remains.
To swell the emtyness in my heart and mind
the beating beating rythmical beating blind
enter the soul with parchment pressed to the ear.
Stumbling threw the madness of fear,fear
entering the emptyness of the bounding silence
bought on by the constant ryme of life.
Threw the eyes of the cells the ears of the heart
broken by the trembling and the cold of light
then the known warmth of the calm from sleep.
Awaking into the reality of nothingness
leading to the capacity of love hate and again
Fear yes the fear of deception of a broken head
smashed on the steps of dreary warm death lies.
Then comes the reality of lifes real game
Gone before perception of love and war.
Taken away in the blink of an eye
crashing threw all that is good and honest
screaming into the nothingness of betrayal.

Mind power

Many years ago I was told I had to do a mind power course which I did.
On the first day of the course I was teamed up with this wonderful lady by the name of Jan.
during the course we did this exercise and they played the song

I Want to know what love is - Foreigner
This had a profound effect on me and Jan and I embraced with me crying like a baby.
It took some time before the tears dried up.
Jan was the most amazing woman I have ever meet and we became great friends. She had two beautiful daughters Amanda and Tracy. There was times where she wanted more and other times when I wanted more but the line was never crossed into lovers.
The friendship flourished for several years.
Then the unspeakable thing happened on the Friday night Jan was so sick and said her medication was not working. I said to her you are not going to leave me are you and she said no. She was sick. The next morning I get a phone call to say Jan had died in her sleep with a massive heart attack. Devastation even to this day.
I  reluctantly went to the funeral where I meet her mother and introduced myself and said she probably wouldn't know me. The reply came I know all about you and thank you for caring for Jan as she told her mother all about me.
Yes I am sitting here writing this with tears pouring from my eyes remembering the great woman that was never to be my lover.

mental Health

Daring to take the Business of Electroshock by the Prods., February 14, 2009

By 

Philip Bennett 

-

This review is from: Doctors of Deception: What They Don't Want You to Know About Shock Treatment (Hardcover)

Linda Andre had been blessed. With an I. Q. measured at 156, a powerful work ethic, a drive to succeed, a musician's ear and artist's eye, she sailed through her academic career to the heights of scholarship and was beginning a brilliant career as a writer and photographer when, at 25, the assault happened, like a horrific mugging and beating. Permanently brain damaged by the assault, her I. Q. had been chopped down to 118. Gone also was her gift for photography. Perhaps worse of all was the complete erasure of five years of her memory, one-fifth of her lifetime, including all her prestigious academic training, as if she'd never lived those lost years. 
Any other mugging would have thrown the perpetrators into jail for years and cost them millions in civil penalties. But this was a legal mugging. And the perpetrators even made $20,000 for destroying much of Ms. Andre's life. They were, after all, licensed doctors of medicine and, instead of using a baseball bat on her head (which would have been kinder), they sent up to 200 volts of electricity into her brain with their electro convulsive "therapy" machine. 
Why would doctors, of all people, inflict such physical and emotional harm to another? Ms. Andre, having no memory of the events leading up to her assault, can only go by what other people have told her and the existing documentation. So she spends most of her affecting and exhaustively researched book looking for the answer then joining and later becoming a leading voice in the struggle against ECT machines and other instruments of this medical holocaust which claims thousands of victims each year, robbing them of their day-to-day abilities to function and up to decades of memory. 
Here Ms. Andre documents the countless efforts to ask the questions and tell the mental patient's stories through various media only to learn that even the most trusted outlets have their own visions of what the answers are, regardless of the facts put in front of them. Few readers of this book will be able to sit complacently in front of their TVs afterwards, just as none of us should ever sheepishly allow any "expert" with certain conflicts of interest to lead us to ruin. 
It is also a pleasure to read the facts behind ECT rather than the gushing accolades of Carrie Fisher (who receives regular shocks and has lost, so far, 4 months of her life-memories) and of Kitty Dukakas (who, along with lost memories, must constantly write notes to herself before her damaged short-term memory loses the information). 
My deepest hope is that medical school students will read Ms. Andre's book, take it to heart and dare to ask those questions.


I have gone threw this not as a patient but as a partner and father broken into two stories.
The first happened some time back and was posted on this site. To recap here it is....


Tall popies are cut down in there prime (great Australian pastime) There will never be people in Australia that will rise above there station while these types of thinking are arround. If you were to try to do so you would be charged with grand delusions and pumped full of pills by the mental health system.

 I had a mate who sold contraceptions to America and was jailed for seven years. Why you might ask? 29 million people here 10 million female half sexually active thats 5 million times $40 per month for the pill and times that by twelve months now thats a lot of money thats about 2 billion.Just a pitance that the doctors rip from the coffers or the state
 If you think you are more important than the American president (which I am ) then you have delusions of grandure and can be medicated for this. Watch out all Americans because everyone of you personally think you are better and more important than your president.. Think for a moment now..!!!!!! Who runs this country Australia.  Doctors and our female prime minister, I would never say anything sexist about a woman prime minister, but she is just a arse hole.These figures can also be used for the so called mentally ill and the health system.

Then there is this one....schizophrenia  is a disease of older people.
 It is all right for a child to have an imaginary friend and talk to this friend and is in the genes that all humans have this quality. Imagination is also a quality also built into the genes and is how our society developed to where we are today. These imaginary friends came about when you were the only child for miles around and to stop insanity you had a imaginary friend. (shit I had one ) Now doctors who did not have a friend in there mind see this as a problem. The problem arises when the child is abused and the friend has hate in its dialogue with there imaginary friend .
Then there was this to contend with....