Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Lost and Found and lost again

I found a girl in shadows deep,

A silent soul I long to keep.

She’s lost, unspoken, out of reach,

Within her eyes, a distant beach.


She likes me, whispers in the wind,

A fragile spark, a hope within.

But fate’s a maze, and time’s unkind,

A fleeting hope I struggle to find.


Though she’s unavailable, my heart’s still near,

For in her loss, I hold her dear.

A distant star that lights my night,

A gentle dream, a flickering light.


Someday perhaps, our paths will cross,

Beyond the pain, beyond the loss.

Until that time, I’ll hold her close,

A silent love I cherish most.

Covid

 In the silence of that suspended year,  

The world paused, held breath, and drew near.  

A breathless pause, a fleeting grace,  

A stillness time could not replace.  

  

Streets grew quiet, shadows stretched,  

In empty parks, the silence etched.  

Hearts beat softly, hope's faint glow,  

A world reborn in silent woe.  

  

Yet in that pause, with time held tight,  

A chance to see anew the light.  

Though doors were closed and paths were blocked,  

A whisper of change gently unlocked.  

  

The year the world stopped, yet in its sleep,  

Seeds of renewal quietly did creep.  

A pause, a breath, a chance to mend—  

A silent chapter, longing to end.

Stuff me

Bugger me, I’m crook as a dog,  

Feeling pretty rough, like a true blue bog.  

Lay in me bed, with a sore head,  

Wish this bloody sickness would clear instead.  

Fair dinkum hope I’ll soon be right,  

Struth, I’ll fight this with all my might.

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

The death of the heart felt love.

Chapter 1: The Tapestry of Love


Her life was a delicate tapestry—woven with threads of love, loss, hope, and quiet resilience. Each strand represented a moment, a memory, a heartbeat that had shaped her existence. When she met him, everything changed—her world suddenly burst into color, brighter and more vibrant than before. Her heart, once guarded and hesitant, opened slowly, cautiously at first, then with abandon. Their connection was a rare, tender flame—flickering but unwavering, guiding her through the darkest nights and brightest days. It was a love that quietly grew, rooted in trust, understanding, and the gentle strength of companionship. For the first time, she felt seen, truly understood, and loved without condition. That love became her anchor, her guiding star, illuminating her path forward.  


She often wondered how such a profound connection had entered her life—like a gift from the universe, unexpected yet perfectly timed. Her days became brighter, her nights filled with dreams of a future she dared to hope for. Every smile, every touch, every shared silence was a treasure—an affirmation that she was loved in the most sacred, purest way. Her heart, once guarded by fear and sorrow, now beat with renewed purpose. In his presence, she discovered that love could be gentle but mighty, capable of healing wounds she didn’t even realize she carried. Her life, once a quiet existence, now shimmered with the promise of something everlasting.


Chapter 2: Building a Life Together 


Together, they built a life filled with quiet, everyday miracles—moments that seemed insignificant but were actually the foundation of something extraordinary. Laughter echoed through their home, filling every room with warmth and light, creating a sanctuary she never wanted to leave. Their days were simple but meaningful—shared breakfasts, quiet walks, and evenings spent in comfortable silence that spoke volumes. Even in the smallest gestures—the brushing of her hand, a reassuring squeeze—they found a language only lovers understand. Their love was woven into the fabric of their daily lives, more profound than grand gestures or romantic words. It was in the way he looked at her, in the gentle way he took her hand, and in the unspoken promises they made every day.  


They created routines and rituals that held their love steady amid life's chaos—morning coffees, shared sunsets, and whispered goodnights. His presence was her refuge, a steadying force that made her feel safe and cherished. Her heart knew that this love was rare—something she would guard fiercely, even in her quiet moments of doubt. Every day was an affirmation that love could thrive in the simplest acts—an unspoken vow that they would face whatever came together. She treasured these small, sacred moments; they became the threads that held her heart together through life’s inevitable storms. Their love was a gentle but unbreakable bond—proof that even in the quietest times, love could be resilient and enduring.


---


Chapter 3: The Passage of Time


As the years slipped by, she watched him grow older—lines etching themselves into his face, a testament to the life they had shared. Her admiration for him deepened with each passing day, rooted in the quiet strength he carried within. She loved the way he still looked at her—full of tenderness, reverence, and a kind of quiet devotion that never faded. She cherished his kindness, his patience, and the way he had loved her—steadfast and unwavering, even when life tested them. Their love became more than just passion; it was a sanctuary—a safe harbor where they found peace amid the storms of life. She saw in him her reflection, her partner, her confidant, and her greatest gift.  


Their bond was a testament to the enduring power of love—built on mutual respect, gentle patience, and unspoken promises. She knew that their connection was rare—something that many spend a lifetime searching for and never find. Even as the world around them changed, their love remained a constant—a quiet, steady force that grounded her. It was in the way he held her hand during difficult times, in the way he listened without judgment, and in the warmth of his embrace after a long day. That love, so deep and true, had become her sanctuary—her refuge from pain, her source of strength. It was a love that whispered softly but carried the weight of eternity, filling her with gratitude she could barely put into words.


Chapter 4: The Greatest Challenge  


But life, with its cruel unpredictability, eventually brought their greatest challenge—his illness. She watched helplessly as the vibrant man she loved—the one who once filled every room with his laughter—began to fade. His body, once strong and resilient, grew frail, and her heart ached at the sight. She felt her world shrinking, her heart breaking anew with each day he grew weaker, yet her love only deepened. She stayed by his side, holding his hand as if her very touch could somehow hold him together. She whispered words of reassurance, even when her own voice trembled with emotion, knowing that her presence was his greatest comfort.  


In his final days, silence became their language—an unspoken understanding of the love that had sustained them through decades. She watched the light fade from his eyes, but in that moment, she knew their love was eternal—an unbreakable bond that no force on earth, not even death, could sever. When he finally took his last breath, an ocean of grief engulfed her. Her world felt shattered, and the hollow ache in her chest was a pain so raw it left her gasping. Tears streamed down her face—silent, uncontrollable—each one a testament to the love she had lost. She clung to the memories—the gentle touch, the whispered promises, the life they had shared that now seemed so fragile. Her love for him was etched into every fiber of her being, and in that moment, she mourned not just his absence but the loss of her own future.


---


Chapter 5: The Quiet Aftermath


In the days, weeks, and months that followed, she wandered through her home as if in a dream—her heart wounded but still beating. The ache was a dull, persistent hum in her chest, but she fought to find meaning in the silence left behind. Her love for her children, her siblings, her parents—these bonds became her anchors, reminding her that life was still worth living, even when her soul felt broken. Slowly, she began to piece herself back together, learning to breathe again without him by her side. But the memories haunted her—every smile, every touch, every shared moment—etched into her mind like sacred relics.  


She often found herself staring at a corner of the room, whispering silent prayers to the man she had loved so fiercely. The void was vast, filled with longing and grief, yet within her, a fragile glimmer of hope began to emerge. Her tears became a silent prayer, a way to honor her love and to release the pain that threatened to consume her. She realized that grief was a journey—one she could not rush or deny—and that healing was a slow, sacred process. Her love for him remained her guiding light, a sacred fire that no amount of darkness could extinguish.  


Chapter 6: An Unexpected Encounter

One day, unexpectedly, her life took a gentle turn. She met someone—kind, compassionate, with a warmth that stirred a long-forgotten ember within her. Their connection was slow to develop, born from shared understanding and mutual respect. At first, she hesitated—fear and guilt still haunted her—yet something about him called to her, like a soft whisper in the wind.  


Their friendship deepened, rooted in quiet conversations and gentle gestures that slowly unraveled her defenses. She felt her heart stir—tentatively, cautiously—yet it was a welcome feeling, a sign that life was still capable of surprising her. Over time, their bond grew from friendship into something tender, fragile, yet profound—a love born not from need but from hope. It was different from her first love, but no less real or meaningful. It was a gentle reminder that healing was possible—that life could still surprise her with moments of happiness amid the pain.  


Chapter 7: Learning to Love Again


With him, she learned to trust again, to open her heart without fear of betrayal or guilt. His tender touch was a balm to her wounded soul, and his presence a reassurance that life still held beauty and possibility. Their love blossomed quietly—like a delicate flower unfolding in the warmth of spring—soft, subtle, yet resilient. Her heart, once guarded and heavy, began to feel lighter, freer. Her smile returned, hesitant at first, then more confident, as she allowed herself to feel the joy she thought she’d lost forever.  


Every shared moment became a precious gift—an affirmation that she was capable of love again, that her heart was still resilient enough to heal. Her past love never left her; it remained a sacred part of her, etched into her soul. But she was learning that love could evolve—change, deepen, and grow. Her tears, once born of guilt and grief, now carried a new meaning—acceptance, grace, and hope.  


Chapter 8: Embracing the Future  


Her life, scarred by loss but illuminated by love, became a testament to resilience. She carried the memory of her first love with reverence—an eternal flame that would never die. But she also welcomed the possibility of new happiness, of a future filled with gentle joy. Her heart expanded to hold both loves—honoring the sacred past while opening to the promise of tomorrow.  


She understood that love was not a betrayal but a continuation—a sacred act of healing, of embracing life’s complexity. The tears she shed now were softer, more forgiving—reminding her of her strength and capacity to love beyond pain. Her journey was one of grace—an acceptance that loving again did not diminish what she had lost but enriched what she still had to give.  


Chapter 9: Moving Forward  


With each passing day, she stepped into her future with courage and an open heart. Her spirit was anchored in her family’s love, in the knowledge that love was infinite—that her capacity to love was unending. Tears often welled up—not out of despair but gratitude, recognition, and hope. Her past remained a sacred part of her—an indelible mark on her soul—yet she no longer saw it as a chain but as a foundation.  


She allowed herself to dream again, to hope, to believe that happiness was still within reach. Her heart, once broken, had healed enough to beat with new strength. She carried her memories gently, like treasured keepsakes, and embraced the unknown with courage. Her story was one of resilience—proof that love, no matter how deeply lost or how painfully gained, endures beyond the boundaries of time and death.  


Epilogue: A New Dawn  


She didn’t die. Not in the way the world often fears—her spirit endured, resilient and unbroken. Though her heart had been shattered, it had also been mended in ways she never thought possible. She had carried her love, her grief, and her hope through the darkest nights and brightest days, each step forging her into a stronger, wiser woman. Her journey was far from over; it was a new beginning—one filled with quiet strength, acceptance, and gentle hope.  


The years had taught her that love was not solely about holding on but about learning to let go with grace. She had learned that healing came in waves, sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce, but always moving forward. Her heart, once heavy with loss, now beat with a steadier rhythm—filled with gratitude for the love she had known and the love she was still open to receiving. She knew she carried her past, her memories, and her pain not as burdens but as sacred parts of her story—proof that she had loved deeply and had the courage to keep loving.  


Every morning, she awoke with a quiet awareness that life was a gift—fragile, precious, and fleeting. She embraced each day with open arms, thankful for the simple beauty of being alive—for her family’s laughter, her own renewed sense of hope, and the love that still found its way into her heart. Her journey was a testament to resilience; her spirit, a testament to the enduring power of love.  


She often looked up at the sky, feeling her loved ones—her husband, her soulmate—whispering in the breeze, guiding her with invisible threads of connection. Though they may have been apart in the physical realm, she knew their love remained woven into the fabric of her very being. And one day, if fate allowed, perhaps their spirits would meet again—beyond the boundaries of this life, in a place where love was eternal and unbreakable.  


Until then, she moved forward—stronger, wiser, and more hopeful than ever. Her heart had been broken, yes, but it had also healed, blossoming anew in the warmth of life’s endless possibilities. She understood now that love was infinite—an unending thread that connected souls beyond time, beyond pain, beyond death.  


And as she stepped into each new day, she carried with her a quiet certainty: her story was still being written. Her journey was ongoing, filled with new beginnings and the hope of love’s endless return. She was alive, and in that alive-ness, she found her greatest strength—her unbreakable, resilient heart, beating boldly into the future.


Thursday, June 26, 2025

Signs of Gaslighting

1. Denying or Twisting Facts 

Gaslighters often deny or distort facts to make you doubt your memory or perception. For example, they might insist that an event never happened, even when you have clear evidence or recall it vividly. They may twist details to shift blame or create confusion, claiming you’re misremembering or overreacting. This tactic erodes your confidence in your own judgment and makes you increasingly reliant on their version of reality. Recognizing this pattern involves paying attention to inconsistencies in their stories and trusting your own memory. Keeping a journal or record of events can help you verify facts and maintain your clarity.


2. Blaming You  

A common gaslighting tactic is to blame you for things that aren’t your fault or that are beyond your control. For instance, your mother or ex might say you caused their bad mood or that you’re overly sensitive when you express hurt feelings. This shifting of responsibility keeps you feeling guilty or responsible for problems, which diminishes your sense of autonomy. It also discourages you from speaking up or asserting yourself because you’re conditioned to believe you’re the problem. Recognizing when blame is unfair or disproportionate is crucial. Remember, you are not responsible for others’ actions or feelings, and it’s okay to set boundaries around this.


3. Undermining Your Confidence

Gaslighters often work to erode your confidence by making you question your judgment, feelings, or perceptions. They might dismiss your opinions, say you’re overreacting, or suggest you’re crazy. Over time, this can lead to self-doubt and dependence on their approval. This undermining can manifest through subtle comments, sarcasm, or outright insults. It’s important to affirm your worth and trust your instincts. Building self-awareness and practicing self-compassion are vital steps. Remember that your feelings and perceptions are valid, and you have the right to trust yourself.


4. Withholding or Refusal to Listen 

Gaslighting can involve dismissing your feelings or refusing to engage with your concerns altogether. They might ignore your attempts to communicate or change the subject when you bring up something important. This tactic leaves you feeling invalidated and unheard, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration. Creating a safe space for open communication and asserting your right to be heard are essential. If someone consistently dismisses your feelings, consider limiting your interactions or seeking support elsewhere.


5. Countering  

Countering is when the gaslighter questions your memory of events, claiming you’re lying or mistaken. They might say, “That never happened,” or “You’re remembering it wrong.” This tactic is designed to make you doubt your version of reality. It often involves denying previous conversations or actions, which can be confusing and disorienting. To combat this, rely on documentation, such as messages or recordings, when possible. Trust your gut and remember that your perception is valid, even if someone else insists otherwise.


6. Trivializing Your Feelings  

Gaslighters often dismiss or belittle your emotions, suggesting your feelings are exaggerated or unjustified. For example, they might say, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re too sensitive.” This minimizes your experiences and can make you feel guilty for having certain emotions. It’s a manipulation that discourages emotional honesty and self-expression. Recognize that your feelings are legitimate and important. Practice self-validation and surround yourself with supportive people who respect your emotional boundaries.


7. Using Your Insecurities Against You  

A skilled gaslighter exploits your vulnerabilities to gain control. They may subtly or overtly remind you of your insecurities, making you feel powerless or unworthy. For example, if you’re insecure about your appearance or abilities, they might criticize or belittle you in those areas. This tactic increases your dependency on their approval and weakens your self-esteem. To counteract this, work on building your self-confidence through positive affirmations, therapy, or activities that reinforce your strengths and self-worth.


 Coping and Protection Strategies


1. Trust Your Perceptions  

Your perceptions and memories are valid. Keeping a detailed journal or records of interactions can serve as a reference point when your memory is challenged. Write down dates, conversations, and your feelings at the time. This documentation helps reinforce what you experienced and provides evidence if someone tries to deny or twist facts. It also helps you distinguish between your feelings and external manipulations. Practice trusting yourself, and remember that your reality is legitimate, even if someone else tries to invalidate it.


2. Seek Support  

Talking to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals can provide validation and perspective. Sharing your experiences helps you gain clarity and emotional relief. Other people can offer insights that you might have missed and help you see the situation more objectively. Support networks also remind you that you are not alone and that your feelings are justified. Consider therapy or counseling to build resilience, improve self-esteem, and develop strategies for handling gaslighting situations effectively.


3. Set Boundaries  

Establishing clear boundaries is essential when dealing with manipulative individuals. Decide what behaviors you will accept and communicate these boundaries assertively. For example, if your mother dismisses your feelings, you might say, “I need you to respect my feelings and listen when I talk.” Be prepared to enforce these boundaries consistently. If someone repeatedly crosses them, consider limiting your contact or removing yourself from the situation. Boundaries protect your emotional health and reinforce your right to be treated with respect.


4. Educate Yourself  

Learning about gaslighting and manipulation tactics empowers you to recognize them early. Read books, articles, or attend workshops on psychological abuse and healthy boundaries. Understanding these tactics demystifies the manipulator’s behavior and reduces their power over you. It also helps you develop a toolkit of responses and coping strategies. The more informed you are, the better equipped you’ll be to protect yourself and make decisions that prioritize your well-being.


5. Practice Self-Care  

Engaging in activities that nurture your emotional, mental, and physical health is crucial. This might include exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with supportive people. Self-care helps rebuild your confidence, reduces stress, and reinforces your sense of identity outside of the manipulation. Remember to be gentle with yourself and acknowledge your feelings. Healing from gaslighting takes time, and self-compassion is an essential part of that process.


6. Develop Your Self-Confidence  

Building your self-esteem is a powerful defense against gaslighting. Practice affirmations, celebrate your achievements, and remind yourself of your worth. Engage in activities that make you feel competent and empowered. Therapy or coaching can also help you explore your strengths and develop healthy self-perceptions. As your confidence grows, you’ll be less susceptible to manipulation and better able to stand firm in your reality.


7. Limit or Remove Yourself from Toxic Environments  

If possible, distance yourself from individuals who consistently gaslight or manipulate you. This might involve reducing contact, establishing strict boundaries, or ending the relationship altogether. Protecting your mental health is paramount, and sometimes the safest option is to remove yourself from toxic situations. Seek support during this process and remember that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary for your healing and growth.


8. Seek Professional Help When Needed  

If gaslighting has significantly impacted your mental health, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapy can help you process your experiences, rebuild your self-esteem, and develop coping strategies. A professional can also assist in addressing any anxiety, depression, or trauma resulting from manipulation. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don’t have to face this alone.


9. Trust Your Inner Voice  

Finally, learn to listen to your intuition. Your inner voice knows what’s right for you. When something feels off, trust that feeling. Practice mindfulness and self-awareness to stay connected with your emotions and perceptions. Over time, this will strengthen your ability to recognize manipulation early and stand firm in your reality.


Remember, your well-being matters, and taking these steps is about reclaiming your power and peace.

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Hope this helps men?

 Lost in the Chase


I've watched so many videos on love and desire,

Trying to set my heart's restless fire.

But here I stand, confused and unsure,

A man lost in a maze, seeking a cure.


Questions swirl like storms in my mind,

Am I enough? Is she hard to find?

Hope flickers dim, a fragile light,

In the shadows of the endless night.


Girls, you want me to chase, you say,

To run, to fight, to find my way.

But what if the path is steep and long,

And I fear I might not be strong?


Yet still I reach, with hopes held high,

To win your smile, to catch your eye.

For love's a game both wild and true,

And I am here, just waiting for you.


So tell me, girls, if I should try,

To chase your heart beneath the sky.

For in this quest, I hope to find,

A love that's real, a peace of mind.




Chasing Shadows


I've watched endless videos, read every line,

Trying to understand women — but it's a mine.

Confused and hopeless, I stand alone,

Lost in the chaos of love unknown.


You tell me to chase, to fight, to prove,

But what’s the point? Do I even move?

Am I just a game you want to play,

A pawn in your mind, thrown away?


Girls, you want me to chase, to beg,

But I’m tired of falling into your web.

You want effort, you want to see,

But all I get is emptiness from me.


I’m tired of the games, tired of the pain,

Tired of trying to break this chain.

If love’s a battlefield, I’m done with the fight,

Because honesty hurts — it’s just not right.


So here I stand, broken and raw,

Questioning everything I saw.

Chasing shadows, chasing ghosts,

Lost in a game I don’t love the most.


Humor? Yeah, I’ve got a few tricks —

Like pretending I don’t care, or fixing my kicks.

But deep down, I’m just exhausted and done,

Chasing illusions — yeah, I’ve had my fun.


The painted lady

There was once a painted lady, she worked through the night,

A shadow in moonlight, flickering in flight.

Her colors were secrets, her wings whispered tight,

A silent enigma in the pale starlight.


If ever she caught you, beware her keen bite,

A sting like a whisper, swift as the night.

Her beauty concealed a fierce, hidden might,

A guardian of shadows, born of twilight.


She dances on edges where danger and dreams entwine,

A creature of mystery, both deadly and divine.

In the quiet darkness, she silently reigns,

The painted lady, in her haunting refrains.